What+I+Like+about+Me

Pamela Wrede September 5, 2007

My Unique Quality—My Mom

When I met my soon-to-be bridesmaids in my freshman year of college, one quality we had in common was our unusually close relationships with our moms. The five of us grew closer as we discovered our unique yet similar mother-daughter bonds. We shared the fact that we told our moms everything and that we considered our moms to be our best friends. I listened with understanding and divulged the same about my mom and me, but the whole time I thought to myself, “there is no way they have the same relationship that my mom and I share—no way!”

Both my mom and I grew up with a brother, so I think we each desired a sister as children. Brothers are great and all, but there are only so many secrets and experiences a sister and brother can share. So, from a pretty young age, my mom and I started to confide in one another. I can attribute it to our personal and emotional natures (yes—like mother, like daughter) in that we both need to express our feelings and talk everything out. On the same token, though, we do not address problems we have with people when we are hurt by them—we keep those inside or just tell each other, but do not express our hurts or concerns to the people who have upset us. We joke that we are not only mother and daughter and best friends, but also one another’s psychiatrists. As I have gotten older, we have become even more open with one another and now there are barely any secrets between us.

My mom and I also have many shared interests, one of which is to go see Broadway shows. We try to go into New York City at least once a year just the two of us to see a show. Our absolute favorite is //Wicked,// a musical based on the witches in //The Wizard of Oz.// My mom and I were in tears by the end of the show and have since gone back for a backstage tour. We now listen to the //Wicked// soundtrack as if it were a Madonna CD. Each song on the soundtrack holds personal meaning for us. We love taking car rides together, blasting the music, and singing at the top of our lungs. I know that a //Wicked// song __must__ be played at my wedding even if only the two of us understand its significance.

Speaking of my wedding, I wish there was a “mother-daughter dance” I could add to the traditional “father-daughter” and “mother-son” dances my fiancé and I will dance in the early stages of our reception. I could see it now—my mother and I cutting across the dance floor to an electric “Dancing through Life”—our favorite upbeat //Wicked// tune. I look forward to dancing with my father to our old standby, “New Kid in Town” by The Eagles—a song we have song at numerous karaoke parties and even at my cousin Mike’s wedding five years ago—but I would also like the opportunity to not only celebrate but highlight my profound relationship with mom as well on the “biggest day of my life.”

Over the four years I was in college, my mom and I grew close with my four best friends and their mothers. During our sorority’s Mother-Daughter Brunch each spring, our moms seemed to kindle their own special friendships. By our senior year, our mothers found their ways back to our house after brunch ended at three in the afternoon and stayed until midnight that night talking and laughing over pizza, stale soda and Ellen stand-up DVDs. Now that my bridesmaids and I have graduated, the ten of us—mothers and daughters alike—meet for dinner and dessert every few months and end up talking in the restaurant parking lot until the sun comes up.

My mom is my mentor, best friend, and closest confident. She is a role model with whom I share my secrets and dreams. She has been an influential part in my life since birth (obviously) and has become an integral member of my many close friendships as well. I believe that while my relationship with my mom is what connects me with my closest friends, it also sets me apart. My mom makes me unique because it is my committed and complex relationship with her that defines me.